Some Of My Best Work

Today I'm rambling. There are so many thoughts going round in my head, I don't know which one to land on and write about. My kid got in trouble today at school...again. This fighting thing is about to get the best of me. He' 12, OK almost 13, or will be next month, but the kid thinks he's 6 feet tall and friggin' bullet proof or something. He wants to open up a can of whip ass on every kid who says something to him that he doesn't like. So now, every kid who comes to school with a chip on his shoulder and is looking for a fight, knows to go find the little 6th grader who will fight at the drop of a hat and they all know just what to say to him to get him going. And everytime the little sucker bites. Even the principal says, "Braxton is a good kid if he could just get his temper under control." So once again, he is suspended for 3 days. This is the second time he has been suspended from school for 3 days for fighting. He's been suspended from the bus once for fighting. According to him the kids get in his face and tell him the he's a fag and his mama's a fag. I cannot make him understand that it's only words and words can't hurt. To him they mean everything and as soon as the words are out of the other kid's mouths he starts swinging. So, there's that problem. Cute, huh? What am I supposed to do with that? How do I punish him? What do I tell him? Again? Somebody just shoot me now! I'm 50 years old, for gripes sake! Is this fair? Should I really have to be dealing with this at this time in my life? I guess that really does not matter a rip's bit, now does it? Fact is, I've got the kid, he's mine and I have no choice but to do it. Sweet. That's just the way it is. You do what you gotta do. If I've learned nothing else in this life, I have learned that: you do what you gotta do. My parents taught me that at a very early age. But I definitely do not want to talk about that. We will probably never talk about that. OK, back to me and doing what I have to do with this kid, which is somehow whipping him into shape. If anybody is out there, you got any idea's? I'm open for anything you have. I'm an open-minded woman, ya' know. Progressive, even. So, if you got anything at all, throw it my way. I'll be most appreciative. That is unless it's something like locking the kid in a closet or something along those lines. I don't want to be going to jail or anything. Let's keep it legal. I know I've threatened killing him a time or two, but as his mother, I have that right. Know what I mean? OK enough about the kid. What else has been on my mind?

One or the other or all of my kids is usually always on my mind. I haven't heard from Kelle in several days. Kelle is my youngest daughter, she recently turned 20 and lives in Aiken. I worry about her, but she does well on her own. She works hard and is going to school. Normally, I talk to her every day or every other day, but I haven't talked to her this week at all. It's been 8 days now so that tells me, number one that all is well with her, which is good, and she's busy. But she has to know that the longer she goes without calling me the bigger the fussing is going to be. The girl should know to call her mother before I have to break down and call her! I ALWAYS called my mother. It was my place to call my mother, but kids today think that it's the mother's place to call them. I don't know where they get these ideas of theirs. And God, it's killing me to be sounding like my mother!

Speaking of my mother...ya know how one day you look in the mirror and you see your mother looking back at you? Scares the hell out of you, doesn't it? I know it did me. It's going to happen to my oldest daughter one day, soon and I feel so sorry for her. I hope it doesn't make her go out and hurt herself. What's worse, and if she knew it she would definitely shoot herself in the head, is that she is a carbon copy of me. Someone who knows me very well told me once that when she is talking to my daughter if she turns her head and doesn't look at her, she could swear it were me, not only by the way she sounds but by the things she says. And it's true. Kristi and I are so much alike, we can't even stay around one another for very long without a fight starting. We both have this need to be in control of the situation and the center of attention. Kristi will tell you "no" on that one because she loves to suffer in silence and be the martyr. If her feelings are hurt, you will never know it. If she feels slighted, she will never tell. She will avoid confrontation at all costs, she will be your doormat over and over again and never say one word. She is helpful to a fault, she will give you the shirt off her back. She always puts her husband and children above all else and loves them with the fierceness of a lioness, yet she is as gentle as a loving doe with all of them. She works non stop for the good of all of them and always puts her job on a level as even with her family as she can get it. If I knew where her energy came from I would buy stock in the joint. Her goodness is only surpassed by her thoughtfullness which is only surpassed by her energy which is only surpassed by her enthusiasm which is only surpassed by her caring which is only surpassed by her gentleness whhich is only surpassed by her ability to forgive which is only surpassed by her ability to love. How, I do not know, but with this one, I did my best work...Hands down!