What in the hell could be so great about me that I could possibly fill a page? My profile says that I am a loyal friend. That's true as I have many friends, although in recent years not as many as I used to because of a life change I have made since my husband died. You see, when Bud died and I lost my home and most of my family, well, his family really; they thought there might be some money and when money is involved, friendships go out the window, as we all know. Anyway, here I was a new widow with no home and no place to go other than the home of one of my kids. I knew that was not fair to any of them. I have a friend who generously offered to share her home with me and my 10 year old son. The problem everyone seemed to have with Nancy is that she is gay. Well big deal. I never did hold the fact that some of them are ugly against them! Because I have not done what several of my so called "friends" thought I should have done, which was live on the street, I suppose or in some homeless shelter, they have quit speaking to me. So I don;t have quite the same number of friends that I once had. But the ones I do still have are good, loyal, wonderful friends, who I know will always be with me through think and thin. And I wouldn;t turn my back on any of them. I wouldn't have turned my back on any of the so called friends who have written me off! That's one of the sad parts in this story.
I also said I was a fiercely overprotective mother and Grammie and that part, too is true. I will kill for my kids without a second thought and if you or anyone messes with my grandchildren you'll have me to answer to. I have been known to be one crazy coon-ass woman and will not think twice about hurting anyone that first hurts my kids or my grandkids. These are the people that give me my reason for breathing and you just don't mess with them, just like you don't pee in church. It's just not done.
And yes, I have a horrible spinal disease called Arachnoiditis. While that sounds like I am afraid of spiders and although I am, it has nothing to do with spiders. It has everything to do with the spider-like nerve endings in my spinal cord. All these nerves end in the arachnoid layer of my spine and that peticular layer is shot due to pantopaque dye used in a mylogram back in the 70's. The doctor said of the dye, "Oh it can't hurt you. It will be absorbed in your body and then you'll pee it out." HA! Famous last words. In more than 30 years I have yet to pee it out. It stll shows up on x-rays to this very day looking like a large gray blob near the bottom of my spine and all those nerves are matted together like a bottle of crazy glue has been poured over them. This fun little disease causes me to have severe muscle spasms in both of my legs, constant pain in my hips and legs and some days it does not even allow me to walk. Although some days, the dosease takes pity on me and does let me walk just long enough to get some housework done so I don't go stir crazy laying in the bed. But with winter on top of us, those days will be fewer and fewer as the cold weather is a real killer. When you have arach and you get cold you tense up and your whole body tightens. That in itself is enough to make you nuts, but add that to the spasms and the pain in general and you have a real full fledged pain in the lower half of your body going on here. Yeah in other words, hurts like hell! But as I said in an earlier paragraph, I did move in with Nancy, who shares this wonderful little disease for which there is no cure, by the way, so together, we suffer not so silently and some days, pray for sweet death. But sadly, we don't have that luxury. Arachnoiditis is not life-threatening. The pain is as tough as that as what a cancer patient goes through, but without the relief of death to look forward to, we only have a long life to look forward to. Some days it is a good thing and other days it definitly is not a good thing. But that's enough about the arachnoiditis thing. Nancy is also co-parent to my kid and she is helping me to do a damn good job. I couldn't finish raising him by myself. Those first few months after Bud died I was so wrapped up in myself I barely knew he was around anyway. Sometimes I still have my head so stuck up my own butt I rarely know he is around. Those are the times I am most grateful she is here for him, although these days, since he is going through puberty, he's not very likable. He hardly likes himself most days.
How has Nancy shown me that life began for me after Bud died? That's a big question and one I am going to answer with my next post. So stay tuned. And thanks for reading.
Hope you enjoyed this first post.
I also said I was a fiercely overprotective mother and Grammie and that part, too is true. I will kill for my kids without a second thought and if you or anyone messes with my grandchildren you'll have me to answer to. I have been known to be one crazy coon-ass woman and will not think twice about hurting anyone that first hurts my kids or my grandkids. These are the people that give me my reason for breathing and you just don't mess with them, just like you don't pee in church. It's just not done.
And yes, I have a horrible spinal disease called Arachnoiditis. While that sounds like I am afraid of spiders and although I am, it has nothing to do with spiders. It has everything to do with the spider-like nerve endings in my spinal cord. All these nerves end in the arachnoid layer of my spine and that peticular layer is shot due to pantopaque dye used in a mylogram back in the 70's. The doctor said of the dye, "Oh it can't hurt you. It will be absorbed in your body and then you'll pee it out." HA! Famous last words. In more than 30 years I have yet to pee it out. It stll shows up on x-rays to this very day looking like a large gray blob near the bottom of my spine and all those nerves are matted together like a bottle of crazy glue has been poured over them. This fun little disease causes me to have severe muscle spasms in both of my legs, constant pain in my hips and legs and some days it does not even allow me to walk. Although some days, the dosease takes pity on me and does let me walk just long enough to get some housework done so I don't go stir crazy laying in the bed. But with winter on top of us, those days will be fewer and fewer as the cold weather is a real killer. When you have arach and you get cold you tense up and your whole body tightens. That in itself is enough to make you nuts, but add that to the spasms and the pain in general and you have a real full fledged pain in the lower half of your body going on here. Yeah in other words, hurts like hell! But as I said in an earlier paragraph, I did move in with Nancy, who shares this wonderful little disease for which there is no cure, by the way, so together, we suffer not so silently and some days, pray for sweet death. But sadly, we don't have that luxury. Arachnoiditis is not life-threatening. The pain is as tough as that as what a cancer patient goes through, but without the relief of death to look forward to, we only have a long life to look forward to. Some days it is a good thing and other days it definitly is not a good thing. But that's enough about the arachnoiditis thing. Nancy is also co-parent to my kid and she is helping me to do a damn good job. I couldn't finish raising him by myself. Those first few months after Bud died I was so wrapped up in myself I barely knew he was around anyway. Sometimes I still have my head so stuck up my own butt I rarely know he is around. Those are the times I am most grateful she is here for him, although these days, since he is going through puberty, he's not very likable. He hardly likes himself most days.
How has Nancy shown me that life began for me after Bud died? That's a big question and one I am going to answer with my next post. So stay tuned. And thanks for reading.
Hope you enjoyed this first post.
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