Sometimes We Never Learn

I believe that every parent tries their best to do the best job that they can possibly do when it comes to parenting their children. But no matter how hard we all try, none of our children comes with a set of instructions and very often, even though we do our best, we make terrible mistakes. Those of us that have more than one child are well aware that no two children are alike. Even twins have very different personalities and what works for one child rarely works for another. Quite often you can have two children raised in the very same atmosphere who turn out to have completely different values and ideas by the time they reaach adulthood. There is an old saying that children always come back to the way they were raised and while we would like to believe that is always true, simply put, it's not. Sometimes they grow up and decide that they want no part of what you, as their parent, taught them. Sometimes they grow up and you don't even recognize them as the same child that you raised. As a parent, that's not always your fault. In my opinion, rarely, it that a parent's fault. Once your child reaches a certain age, or certain place in his life, your influence on his diminishes drastically. At some point in every child's life, usually in their teen years, you, the parent, begin to learn all about your lack of intelligence. Simply put, you leanr how stupid you are...your teenager tells you daily. But, most kids, as they get older realize the rebellions of their teen years and in their early adult years turn back into that person that you raised and when that hapens you realize that your job as a parent was a successful one. But sometimes, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try or how much you love that child, something happens and he or she just does not grow up and have the values that you tried so hard to instill into them. They have their own ideas as to how they want to live their life, they have their own ideas as to what is right and usually everyone is wrong, but them. This is heartbreaking to you, as a parent. But there is nothing that you can do about it. There is nothing that you can do to change it. When your child reaches a certain age, when they are no longer a child. you hve to learn first, to let go. Secondly, you must learn that you re not responsible for the adult that child has become and therefore he or she must stand on their own. Up until this point they have more than likey done everything in their power to hurt you; they have drained your heart, your bank account and your trust. They have told so many lies they can no longer recognize the truth and when confronted with it, it sounds to them, like pure figments of your own imagination.

Your priority now, has got to be preserving your own sanity. If you know in your own heart that you hve done everything that you could have possibly done for this child of yours to try and bring him or her back into the family fold, to be the responsible adult, to accept the resbonsibility for the wrong they have done, and nothing has worked, then you must protect yourself and any other children you have. You have got to put this child in God's hands and allow Him to deal with his life from this point on. Tough love is the only love that you've got left to give to him. Tough love is all thats left.

Speaking much more personally, now, that is what I have finally done. And I am much MUCH better off for it. After I walked the floors and cried for more nights than I want to remember, I finally got the courage to hand him over to the Lord. I said out loud to God that I had loved him with all my heart for the last nearly 28 years. I had done my job and I had done it to the best of my ability. Yes, I have made mistakes, but i have admitted each mistake I have ever made and taken the blame for some that I haven't...but you'll do that and more for your child. I told God that now it was His turn to love Him and care for him and to watch out for Him. The old saying is that god protects fools and drunks. I pray that includes drug addicts as well. I believe it does. And an addict is most definitly a fool. My poor child needs the Lord watching out for him desperately. God can help him so much better than I and I kno He has been dealing with him for a while now. Robbie knows it too. Maybe that is why he is fighting so hard to continue to rebel.

"Lord, I beg You to please stay with him and keep him safe within Your loving arms, in jesus name I pray. Amen"