As My Journey Continues

I tried to post this on my AOL Hometown Journal "Inside Myself" and not surprisingly, once again, it would not take the post. I just don't get it with that blog. No doubt, when I return to it in several weeks the post will be there, safe and sound, but it's a chance I am not willing to take. So, I am going to paste it here, just in case.
Here it is:

It seems to me that as I enter this second half of the century of my life, my growth and change happens so much faster than it did all during the entire fifty years of the first half of this century of my life. To me, it seems as if everyday brings a new change or some new personal growth in my life. I would almost put myslef into that "baby" catagory where I could say about myself, "Oh, she is growing by leaps and bounds!" Because each new day I am growing more and more.

I think that a lot of that is because I am seeing Pat about my problems and confronting head on the things that are bothering me in my life...the things that I am either having trouble dealing with or not dealing with at all. It's high time I did deal with these things. Last week, just before I left her office she told me that this week we were going to talk about how I feel about the fact that my mother had to know that my daddy was raping Barbara for 7 years of her life. The answer to the question, "How do I feel about ti?" almost needs no answer...I mean it's pretty obvious, isn't it? I am replused by it. I am sickened by it. I am so disapointed in the fact that the woman that I have looked up to and loved so much my entire life has let me down in such a way that I will end up questioning so many things in my whole life from now on. It makes me mad as hell, plain and simple, is the answer to how I feel about it!

But I will work past that...that's the name of my game with Pat. And I'm winning that game and could not be happier about it, naturally. When I began working with Pat, Nancy asked me what she could do and I told her that the best thing she could do to be supportive was to make sure that I did not miss one of the appointments that I had scheduled. So far she has been keeping up her end of that batgain because I have not missed even one session with Pat. For that, I am so grateful to my Nancy. But then Nancy is so good to me...so much better than I probably deserve.

Each day is a new journey for me and each day I am working hard to make it all the way through to the end of it. I am dping it quite well, so far. Lord, please, help me to continue this faith walk I have going on each day. Give me the strength, Jesus to endure it and most of all,...

God, grant me the Serenity,
To accept the things I cannot Change,
The Courage to Change the Things I Can
And the Wisdom to Know the Difference.
~Amen~