Family Matters

Kelle and I have been talking a lot lately about she and Raymond getting married. I know this is something that has been coming and I have been thinking about my baby's wedding for so many years. This was always the one that I was going to do right. From the time she was a very little girl I had a vision of her in white lace, with her long blonde hair in curls framing her beautiful face. I saw her wearing a veil of lace that I made for her. She was going to walk down a long beautifully decorated asile on the arm of the only an she has ever known as a Daddy, and that would have been Bud, had he lived. I would have been sitting in the front pew of the church, waiting for Bud to give her away, while Kenny and Verna sat behind me (finally, where they belonged). I pictured Kristi as her Marton of Honor, while Charidy and Jessica stood in attendence. Braxton and Robbie would have also been in the wedding party, while Jilly and Emily were flower girls. The reception would have been a great party with Kelle sharing the first dance with her father with Bud and then giving a few minutes toward the end of the song to Kenny. Bud and I would have helped to send the kids on a grand honeymoon and after they returned, they would have settled into married life as happy as any two people could have possibly been.

It will not happen anything like that now. She told me on the phone just this past week that they want to go to Las Vegas to get married and wondered if I would have a large fit. Naturally, my first reaction was to have tha rather large fit, but thankfully, I did think before I opened my mouth and had the good sense to tell her that this was HER wedding, not mine and that it should be done the way she wanted it done. If she wanted to go to Vegas then I felt that's what she should do. And even though it killed me to say that, I think I understand her reasons for feeling the way that she does. Remember, this is all MY opinion....nothing more. But I have arrived at this opinion by listening to her for years and also knowing how she feels about her sperm donor. And yes, to her that is what Kenny is. She says he is too busy with his "real family."

I believe that Kelle wants to have her wedding in Vegas away from family to get out of the family hassle. She does not want Kenny to walk her down any asile and definitly does not think he deserves the right to be giving her away. She also knows how I feel about sharing the front row with Verna and she has managed to push her way onto that space at each one of my child's weddings. Kristi's was the worst when Kristi GAVE Verna my seat. After 8 years I am still not over that hurt. Kelle has never felt that Kenny has ever had time for her, and she does not feel like she is his real daughter. It is easier for her to ignore all the problems and just run away and do it. I think she will tell him after it's done.

I tried telling Kristi this but naturally Kristi does not want to talk about anything unpleasent concerning her father with me, although I feel like that with her father, the rules are different. I saw that because all ofer her house she has pictures of Kenny and Verna, Kenny and the kids, Verna and the kids, but none of Bud and I, or the kids and I or even Bud and the kids. But when I started to tell Kristi why Kelle didn't want to have a family wedding she asked that we change the subject. I can't help but wonder how many times she tells Kenny or Verna to change the subject. And I also worry about me and why I can't seem to get over this. How long am I going to hang on to this hurt? Although for me, it really does not matter, what matters most is my child and how she feels. I know she is so hurt because she's lost her Dad. Losing Bud has been so hard on both Kellle and Braxton, not to mention me. But somehiw, by hanging on to oneanother and by the grace of God, we are going to be just fine. I am as sure o this as I am of the fact that God exists.

U.S. 'Thumbs Its Nose' at Rights, Amnesty Says - New York Times

U.S. 'Thumbs Its Nose' at Rights, Amnesty Says - New York Times

Ya' know, when things like this are written in The New York Times, it's time to sit up and take notice. Whether this entire artice is true or not, is not the point. What IS the point, however, is that we all know that part of it IS true. Part of it, at least, IS factual; and one thing is for sure, NONE of it is what this country stands for.

The White House might "dismiss the accusations as ridiculous and unfounded" all they want, but the truth is that the people that are dismissing them have not BEEN to the prisons and have NOT seen what is going on. They have no way of knowing what they are talking about. Which, by the way, is, I believe, the proper M.O. for a government official. As long as you don;t know what you are talking about but can sound convincing enough saying anything to the contrary, you are preceeved as being "in the know." That's what is so great about this country; it has the greatest politicians money can buy. Isn't that what used to be said about La. politicians? Well, the rest of the country took a lesson from the good ole boys down in da bayou. They went and got themselves bought as well, it looks like to me.

This story is sickening, mostly because we all know it's true. We ALL know that no matter what this country does to show the public how compassionate we are, as long as this administration is in Washington, we are nothing more than a country full of Saddam Huessians. Simply because we are not going into private homes and yanking citizens out and beating them in the streets.....yet, means nothing. Only that they haven't figured out how to get away with it yet. But let this lunatic stay in office much longer and he'll figure it out. He's already figured out how to censor the news in his favor. However, it's gotten him NOWHERE. The rest of the world has known for a long time what he is and his own country, who should have been the first to know, is slowly catching on. I am so ashamed of myself for ever being a supporter of this hate monger in the start. But, he pulled the wool over my eyes with his talk of "family values" and "morals" HA! What a joke he is!

I only pray that the Democrats can produce a viable candidate for President and quit pushing that idiot woman...or should I say thieving woman and find a REAL candidate so that we can FINALLY have someone on the White House who DESERVES to be there. Let's face it, Hillary has already taken everything she wants from there and the thngs she had to give back, that she stole when she left, are going to be nailed down if she's ever allowed back in. No, I'm talking a REAL candidate. Someone who is willing to stand up for the little guy and not line their own pockets and not make the American People look like idiots by telling them that God has talked to them. If God told George that He wanted him to be president, then He told me that He wanted me to be First Lady, so how come I am not living it up in the White House?? I guess God only speaks to the really moral folks, huh? LOL Right...and I'm a chineese midwife too, folks.

Just read the article, then feel your embarrassment. We are the laughing stock of the world and we know why, too. Will somebody clue George in? PLEASE.

Finally, Something Smart Said in Legislature Session

Creators.com - Creators Syndicate

I just read this column by Molly Ivins, found at the above web-site. It was posted in the comments section at Rosie's blog. The Texas representative, Senfronia Thompson, from Houston is apparently one very smart woman. She is evidently interested in GOVERNMENT, something the Texas legislature is obviously NOT, according to the post in question. To put it bluntly; the crap that the Texas Legislature is wasting their time on is sinful and there should be a LAW PASSED on this kind of time wasting garbage. I cannot believe the things this government has done in the name of morals and so called family values. It makes me sick. The next 3 and one half years cannot pass quickly enough for me so that this pitiful excuse for a "moral family man" gets his high and mighty ass out of the White House! George Bush is a joke and is making a mockery out of "family values." I am sick and tired of him walking around thinking he is so much better than everybody else and passing judgement on others and then having the unmittigated gall to tell the American public that he reads the Bible!? He might read it but reading and understanding are two entirely different things!

I pray that someone has the good sense to make damn sure he sees Ms. Thompson's comments and also that someone has the good sense to PUBLICALLY applaud this woman for her efforts. The idiots in the Texas legislature paid her no attention because they passed their hate-ridden bill. How dispicable! So they are proud of themselves for destroying homes, breaking up families and tearing apart peoples lives, all in the name of "family values." Whoopee for them. I hope some of their own familes are caught up in the cross fire one day so that they can know how it feels to be hurt by their own legislation. One day all of this will come back and bite each one of them in the ass.

And George actually thinks he is doing God's work. Who told him that God needed help is what I would like to know? And we, as American people with brains in our heads, elected a man who said publically that God spoke to him? If it were anyone else we would have put him in the funny farm! I think old George is still hitting the sauce and had a vision one night where he got Satan confussed with the Lord.

Read this post, folks, then tell me if we are not in serious trouble as a nation with this lunatic in office. At one time I thought he was the lesser of the two evils. Oh how wrong and stupid I was. The other evil would have at least let me live in my own home and drive my own car! This greed factory thinks my less then $1000 a month is TOO much money to raise a kid on!! But he's going to fix that, he's going to take away paert of my disability pay. The medical profession is allowed to cripple me and the government is allowed to force me to live in poverty. What a country, huh? Oh yeah, what a country.

More of My Life With Arachnoiditis

One thing I can say about having this disease is that it has given me the opportunity to meet people that I would have not had the opportunity to otherwise meet. It has given me a new Mom that I dearly love, a companion to share my life with, and a whole group a friends around the world who offer me an endless supply of love and support daily. So, as hard as this disease is to endure, in a lot of ways, I have to be thankful for it, because otherwise I would not have met these wonderful people or had them become a part of my life.

I would also not have had the opportunity recently to go to Washingto, DC as a representative of our group, ARACH_FRIENDS, to attend the National Spinal Cord Association Summit on Spinal Cord Injury/Diseases, along with my living companion, Nancy. We were in Washington for 4 days and had the time of our lives. Our nations capitol is a place that I never dreamed that I would ever see and I am thrilled that I have had that opportunity. I am also extremely happy that we were able to speak out about this awful disease to all different kinds of people. We talked to doctors, professional people, people with SCI's, care takers, CEO's and other industry leaders. It was an awesome experience for both of us and I am so very proud of the work we accomplished. We may not have gotten the exposure for Arachnoiditis that we had hoped for, but we are definitly on our way, and that is more than we had hoped for.

So, to repeat myself from the beginning of this post, as hard as it is to live daily with this disease, I am thankful for it. It has afforded me many opportunities that I would not otherwise have had and for that I am truly blessed.

Bush's Hatred

I don't usually use this blog for bitching, but this is a great place to get my point across and I definitly have a point to get across.

Once again I am pissed off at our President, a man that I desperately wanted to see elected, only here lately for so many reasons, I have been wondering why. My latest gripe with our commander-in-chief is the fact that he is a terrible hypocrite and a promoter of hatred. I'll bet, right away there are people who don't agree with that and are wondering what I am talking about. I mean, Mr. Bush is always pushing family love and values and unity throughout America. Well, right there is where he is the hypocrite. This man, who is supposedly pushing family love and values is only interested in HIS kind of family. We are all aware that this country is made up of MANY different kinds of families, but if you are not of the TRADIDTONAL family, Mr. Bush does not consider you a first class citizen and does not consider you entitled to the rights and freedoms of the rest of America.

There are millions of non-traditional families in this country. Good, loving families who have a lot to offer children who have no family. Children who NEED a family. But our government has made it impossible for these non-traditional families to provide homes for these children. Homosexual copules are not allowed in many states to become Foster Parents. Mr. Bush apparently believes that NO parents are better than good, loving homosexual parents. Does he actually believe that homosexuality is contaigous? Did homosexuals get it from their parents? Somehow, I doubt that. Does he actually think that? Is he that stupid? Does he think that homosexual parents are going to push this lifestyle on children? Now, thats about the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of, but something that a politicial is about silly enough to believe. I seriously doubt that ANY parent, hetrosexual or homosexual would choose a homosexual lifestyle for their children or their foster children, for that matter.

This country is in deep, deep trouble, when a man who is intelligent enough and trusted enough to be elected President of the United States of America, believes that a child is better off with no parents than she is with a good, loving, caring set of parents, who's sleeping habits just happen to be a little bit different than the mainstream. This is a person who is supposed to be leading this country and teaching all citizens, by his example, to accept all people, without prejudice. I am so ashamed of the horrible hypocrite we have elected to the highest office in the United States in America.

Children are our future and the last place that any of them belong is in some institution, especially when there are caring, loving people ready, willing and able to give them a home. How sad for us, how sad for George, but most of all, how sad for these poor children.