I have let Lynn back into my life against the judgement of everyone I know. She also has to keep this from Brod right now. She says she is going to tell him but I feel like she is about as anxious to tell him as I am to tell Faye and Kristi. We have promised to take it slow and see where it goes. I know I won't allow her to hurt me like that again. But I am very happy that we have made peace.
Lynn is nit the only one that I have made peace with. Mary Lou ad I have also made up. And Shea is livid over it. But that's her problem. She pissed me off so bad last night I could not believe it. She knew how much pain I was in. She SAW how much pain I was in. I asked her if I could get a couple f pain pills from her to make it thru the night and she told me no that she does not believe in pills, so I could just suffer. I think she knew I was pissed because I didn't hear from her today but he aggravate Faye on the phone all day. Faye think she wanted to come over so she could complain about me. I almost feel sorry for her if she is stupid enough to run me down to my sister. Faye will chew her up and spit her out FAST! aS MUCH AS i LIKE Shea I am tired of her telling me what to do, say, how to dress and decorate my apt. And her opinion is the ONLY opinion.
I reached out to Kenny the other day and invited him out to dinner. I hope he takes me up on it but who knows. funny, the things a person will do out of loneliness.
I am trying hard to be a more forgiving person, a better person, a more tolerant person. I have so much room for change that I have a hell of a nerve to criticize anyone else. That is a horrible habit that I want to break. I guess maybe God really isn't;t finished with me yet.
And I want to live for a very long time. I want to see Evelyn grow up and I want to hold a great grandchild. But I most definitely do not want to be a burden to anyone so I have to learn my limitations and be much more careful with myself.
For the first time in 6 weeks today was a good day. It's the first day that I have felt human. I pray it is the same tomorrow.
This has been a god conversation with myself and I look forward to many more of them.
THANKS FOR LISTENING!
